Girls’ Guide to Making the Most of a Long-Haul Flight

How to arrive at your destination without a pending divorce.

“You look so fresh, and you don’t smell bad either!” My mom announced to me when we arrived at her house in Mexico after 70+ hours of travel from Thailand.

We’d just got in from Koh Phangan, Thailand after an epic journey that looked something like this:

• Koh Phangan to Koh Samui by ferry (30 minutes)

• Bus to the airport (15 minutes)

• Koh Samui to Bangkok by plane (1.5 hours)

• 2 days in Bangkok doing Christmas shopping (48 hours)

• Bangkok to Doha by plane (7 hours)

• Stopover in Doha (20 hours)

• Doha to Dallas by plane (17 hours)

• Stopover in Dallas (12 hours)

• Dallas to Guadalajara by plane (2.5 hours)

• Guadalajara to Lake Chapala by taxi (1 hour)

(This actually works out to 110 hours, but the 48 hours in Bangkok was a choice so I’m choosing not to include that as part of the travel time.)

…And did I mention that we had our three-year-old son Hudson in tow the entire way?

Oh and the fact that I started coming down with something a few hours before our flight from Bangkok to Doha and then Fraser’s belly started feeling funny too, so while I was lying in bed trying to psych myself up for our ridiculously long and daunting trip while choking back a distinct feeling of nausea and dizziness, he took what he thought was an anti-nausea pill but actually turned out to be one of the valiums I’d bought for the plane journey.

In other words… things didn’t get off to a great start. 

And honestly, they rarely do. You can plan and plan all you want, but when it comes to long-haul travel — particularly post-Covid, and particularly with kids — you learn you have to expect things to go wrong. 

But the thing is, if you live abroad like we do, chances are, long-haul trips that most people encounter just a few times (if at all) over the course of their lives are a regular occurrence for you. 

Visits home from your home abroad are an exciting and necessary part of any living abroad lifestyle. But the cost — not only of the flights themselves, but the toll they take on your mind and body — is high. 

No one likes the thought of spending 10+ hours squished into an ever-shrinking economy seat, watching movies you don’t really care about on a tiny screen, eating bland airplane meals, peeing only when designated, and arriving at the destination blurry eyed and dishevelled — a long-haul traveler’s biggest challenge that has only been exacerbated by Covid.

But long-haul flights and trips don’t have to be a nightmare. With a few tricks, you can make the most of them, and arrive at your destination not only fresh and smiley — and not smelly — but with a sense of accomplishment. 

Here’s my guide to making the most of a long-haul international flight. 

(Also here’s a TikTok video I made about the journey back when it was just Hudson and I:

Long-Haul with Kids video by @Kailzees on TikTok

1. Don’t Skimp on Your Flights

Back when I was teaching English in Japan in my early 20s, I made the mistake of choosing the cheapest flights available on Skyscanner, or whatever flight search engine was popular at the time. It would often be a Chinese carrier — the names Air China and China Eastern still send shivers down my spine — with several connections and long, long layover times. 

It would be great at the time of booking, to save a few hundred bucks. But once the time to travel actually came, reality would set in. The long, winding lines of people pushing their way onto the plane. The rude air hostesses. The tiny, tiny seats with zero leg room (and at 5’11’’, I have long legs). The delayed or cancelled flights with no compensation. The 10-hour layovers spent freezing in chilly Chinese airports, trying to sleep on a cold floor with only a sarong as a blanket. The days upon days I’d have to spend recovering from said travel terror upon arrival at home. 

Oh GOD, I do not miss those days. 

I learned my lesson quickly — cheap flights with low-quality carriers are not worth the physical or emotional cost. 

Now I only fly airlines with good reputations. Heck, I even have a few frequent flyer cards for my favourites.

And it’s not like I pay a fortune for my flights. I mean, they do cost a lot — that’s just how it is when you fly across the world — but if you book far enough in advance, even the best airlines like Emirates, Etihad and Cathay often offer reasonably priced seats. 

Now, on our most recent trip, Fraser and I spent hours picking the right flight path that would work best for us and importantly, our son, who does pretty well on planes but NOT as well during the in-between bits like long airport stopovers.

So when we had carefully planned out a route that had us stopping over in Doha for just 2.5 hours, and then the airline changed our flight time after booking and that stopover time went from 2.5 to 20 hours, we were shocked. 

In the good ol’ days of air travel (ie. pre-Covid), we’d have been heavily compensated for such a change. These days though? After spending hours on the customer support line with both Qatar Airways and Expedia (we booked Qatar Airways flights on Expedia, so Qatar Airways insisted we go through Expedia, but only told us that after hours on the phone with Qatar’s customer service), we got compensated exactly… nada. 

And in fact, because our flight times happened to coincide with the World Cup (our stopover in Doha was 3 days before the World Cup final), we couldn’t even pay to go into the airport lounge in Doha during our 20-hour stopover, because they were all full. 

So what I’m trying to say here is that even the best laid plans — even with the top carriers — can now go awry and to be aware of it. But you’ll still be better off with the more reputable carriers than with the cheap ones that don’t care a smidge about their reputation, who are screwing travel plans on the regular these days.

2. Flight and Sleep Times Matter

If you’ve ever spent your entire visit home trying to recover from jetlag, you know the struggle is real. 

I’ve spent far, far too many sleepless nights at my mom’s house in Mexico, tossing and turning all night, and barely able to keep my eyes open during the day. Jetlag makes me (and everyone, really) a useless zombie, unable to enjoy my visit home or quality time with my loved ones.

So, over the years, I’ve learned to select flights with reasonable arrival times. Let me explain.

A reasonable arrival time will allow you to have slept on your flight and arrive at your destination at a time that makes it easy for your body to adjust to the time difference.

Example: you take off at night and arrive at night. If your travel time is around 24 hours, this means that you can sleep on the first leg of your flight, and then keep yourself awake for the second half, and when you arrive, you’ll be tired enough to sleep through the night.

Timing your sleep while on the plane (and during stopovers) is also very important. You want to time your sleep so that you’ll be sleepy on the first night of your arrival. 

So if your flight arrives at nighttime, you don’t want to sleep the entire trip, or you won’t be tired at all when you arrive.

Similarly, if your flight arrives in the morning, you don’t want to be awake your entire trip, or you won’t be able to last until nighttime upon arrival.

What I do is I look at my arrival time and work backwards.

Scenario: A few years ago, I travelled from Bangkok to Dallas, Texas. This was a tricky one, so it makes a good example. 

It was 20 hours of travel time, arriving at 4pm in Texas. My first flight left at 8:15am, with a two-hour stopover in Hong Kong, and then a 15-hour non-stop flight from Hong Kong to Dallas. 

I knew that I wanted to be asleep by at least midnight on my first night in Dallas. 

So, what I did was, I slept very little the night before my first flight. I got myself a Starbucks at the airport to ensure I wouldn’t sleep on my first leg, either. Then, I stayed up most of my second flight (I slept maybe two hours). 

In short, I sleep deprived my body until I got to Dallas. By the time we got to the house, I’d showered and eaten something, it was 7pm Texas time.

I fell into bed and slept 12 hours straight, waking up bright-eyed and bushy tailed at 7am the next morning. 

And my clock was instantly set to local time. I didn’t have a moment of jet lag. 

Note: it doesn’t always work out this perfectly. But this is a great example of how it can. 

I will qualify this entire section with the fact that if you’re travelling with a child, it adds a whole new element that makes it even more important but also more challenging to accomplish. 

I’ll never forget the time that we travelled from Edinburgh to Koh Samui and had to quarantine one night in a Samui hotel (Covid regulations still in effect) and we’d all collapsed and fallen asleep on the bed as soon as we checked in (about 5pm). But Hudson, who had slept far more than Fraser and I on the flights back — about 20 hours of travel altogether — was awake and game for anything and everything… at 1am. With Fraser dead to the world since he’d slept even less than I had, I had to wake up in the middle of the night and entertain a toddler in a drowsy, jetlagged stupor. 

3. Invest in a Good Carry On — and Pack it Well

Fraser and I have had so many arguments about my carry-on. For a while, I was obsessed with this huge multi-compartment but relatively impractical shoulder bag that I would always overfill and Fraser would moan his ass off because he always ended up having to carry it.

It was always too heavy and too full and even though it had tonnes of compartments, I could never remember where I’d put anything so even though I felt super organised, in practice, I could never find anything I needed when I needed it and would often end up having to empty the entire contents all over the airport floor to find whatever the heck I was looking for.

Now, my compact and much more practical Nordace Ellie backpack, which I use daily as well, is my “purse” and I have a roomy but not as fillable Billabong shoulder sling for things like a jacket and my laptop. 

Having a smaller bag for my essentials forces me to pack light. Which is something I need. You may be different. But one thing that’s universal is that compartments are the key to a good carry-on. Having everything you need in easy-to-access slots is a must for a comfortable journey.

Here are the basics that I always make sure to have:

• Water
  For when you get thirsty during take-off/landing — since they usually won’t serve you water at those times.

• Snacks
  For those long waits between meals.

• Compression socks
  If your legs swell, these really are an essential.

• Travel pillow, eye mask and ear plugs
  You’ll sleep so much better if you consider some extra creature comforts that help you detach from the plane experience.

• Notebook and pen
  Some of my best ideas come to me on the plane.

• Laptop
  I also get some of my best work done on the plane, with no other distractions.

• Magazines and books
  For take-off and landing when you’re not allowed to use electronic devices.

• Good headphones
  The free ones they give out on the plane provide terrible audio quality.

• Lip gloss
  Airplane air is soooo dry… I dunno about you, but my lips always get uber chapped. LaNeige Lip Sleeping Mask is my staple.

• A zip-up hoodie

  Planes are cold so a hoodie is a must for me. I specify zip-up because the temperature can change so rapidly on planes, and having a zipper that you can undo and do up quickly can allow you to be more comfortable — faster.

• A thick sarong
  The airplane blankets are never warm enough for me and sarongs are so versatile — they can be blankets, wraps, protect you from dirty floors you may have to sit (or worse — sleep) on at airports when there are no seats available, a skirt in case someone spills something on you (Fraser recently had an entire glass of red wine spilled all over him in the middle of a 15-hour flight) …you name it.

• Wet wipes
  For what the French call “cat showers” in the airport bathroom.

In addition to the essentials, I like to pack myself little indulgences that make my time on the flight extra comfortable. 

• Slippers
  Put them on over your compression socks to protect your feet from gross bathroom floors and also keep them warm, cuz planes get cold!

• Good quality hand lotion
  My skin gets soooo dry on the plane.

• Melatonin and vallies
  The latter, if you can get them, to knock you out for exactly the times you need to be knocked out for… to save you from gross bouts of jet lag later on.

• Face wipes, toothbrush and toothpaste
  You’ll feel so much better about life if you maintain your normal nightly hygiene routine.

• Light makeup for when you land, before you are met by whoever is picking you up
  You’ll also feel so much better about yourself if you don’t have to greet your new destination with the gross fresh-off-the-plane look.

• Supplements
  You don’t normally get the vitamins and minerals you need from airplane food, and travel weakens your immune system — so give yourself your best chance of a healthy arrival by giving your body a leg up with a multivitamin and some probiotics, and maybe some fish oil, while you travel. No need to bring the whole bottle; just pack enough for the time you’re away.

• Senna supplements
  Cuz I dunno about you, but I get clogged up when I travel.

• Lavender oil
  Great for so many things, from calming any travel anxieties, breathing in to help you sleep, taming any bumps forming from the wax you probably got before you left, and as a moisturizer and toner for your skin after you clean it with your face wipes… and it makes a fabulous non-toxic perfume!

4. Packing cubes

I genuinely don’t know how anyone travels without packing cubes. They have been such a game changer for me. I started using them before I had a kid, and they made me feel like such a packing pro. And now that I often have to share my suitcase with another human, they are 100% necessary.

And I actually really enjoy my packing process.

It almost feels like something of a game. I usually start by glancing from my suitcase to my closet and back again in overwhelm for a few minutes.

Once I’ve got that out of my system, I launch into lying everything I want to take out on my bed, then considering the weather practicalities of where I’m going a bit more in-depth, and weeding out the clothing that doesn’t match that accordingly. 

I add in accessories, makeup bags, shoes, a bag for dirty clothes… and then pick out the right size packing cubes to fit each grouping of items and lay it beside each pile. Next, the rolling process begins — roll, don’t fold, your clothes when packing. Folding creates creases, whereas rolling (if done correctly) leaves you with wrinkle-free clothes upon unpacking. 

And there are few things in life more satisfying than arriving at your destination with a bag that you can open without the usual heart palpitations faced by those who haven’t taken the time to organise their case’s contents ahead of time. 

Here’s a TikTok video I made towards the end of the way there on our last long-haul trip:

The unglamourous side of long-haul family travel by @kailzees on TikTok

5. Make the most of your plane time

I do my best writing and come up with my best ideas on planes. I also find it a great time to do things that I never otherwise have time to do. Here are some of the things I like to use my plane time for:

1. Deleting photos and videos from my phone I don’t need anymore

2. Organising my computer files

3. Catching up on reading

4. Tweezing

This might seem weird, but the horrible lighting in airplane bathrooms is great for seeing all those little facial hairs you might otherwise miss. Plus, it gives you something to do while standing up for a while, which is really, really good for your circulation. Just make sure there isn’t a line for the bathroom when you’re doing it.

5. Daydreaming

I rarely ever take the time to daydream. It’s only really on the plane, when I can’t get on WiFi (I purposely don’t, even when there’s on-air WiFi for purchase, just for this reason), that I sit back and think about life. It allows me to organize my thoughts, compartmentalize my brain, and often, great ideas come to me. 

6. Meditating

7. Brainstorming

Without distractions, this is the best time to think through ideas for life, business, events, and more.

8. Writing or drawing

I don’t know what it is about planes, but they seem to foster creativity. Take advantage of it and produce some beautiful work while you’re a mile high.

Take these tips and add your own. 

***

Take it from someone who has done far too many long-haul journeys and has far too many upcoming in her life — learning to master the long-haul and actually finding ways to enjoy it (and avoiding reasons to dread it) is an essential living abroad skill. If you can learn to prepare so you can have the best journey possible — including mentally for the almost unavoidable disruptions that seem to occur on the regular as the world goes “back to normal” (if that’ll ever really happen) — you’ll be all the better off.